New Year's First
by CrimesOfADeadpool
Summary: "Yes, now let's do the New Year thing," Wade said. "What New Year thing?" "You know, 'I haven't eaten all year', 'this is my first shower this year', 'I haven't had sex all year.'" Wade and Peter's first day of the New Year. Plus Wade's bad, bad, repetitive joke about the New Year.


**A/N: I originally posted this on AO3 on the first of January. **

**So it was the New Year. And I'd seen a bunch of Tumblr posts going 'First selfie of the New Year' and 'First artwork of the New Year' and I was like, well I've got to do a 'First fic of the New Year'. So here it is.**

**My NY resolution is to get back into writing (which I've basically stopped since my dad had that car accident in November). So yes. Here's a little New Year thing for you all. **

**Also I really apologise for this cos I couldn't help myself. Just that bad joke though - 'this is my first ... of the year'. I dunno, shh it's a themed work.**

"Peter!" whined an insistent voice as someone shook him by the shoulder. "Wake up."  
Peter groaned, but otherwise didn't move, head buried in his pillow.  
"_Peter!" _  
Peter reluctantly lifted his head. "What?"  
"It's the first morning of the New Year," Wade informed him.  
"I know _that,_" Peter said. They had stayed up all night together, drinking and then kissing as the year changed over. Which was why he _really _needed the sleep now. It's not as if he could really afford to have given up those hours of sleep last night, but he did, because he was a dork, and had somehow caught some of Wade's romantic streak. Kissing as the New Year began. Wade had loved it.  
He looked at the clock, which screamed '6:00' at him in angry red letters. "It's six am," he complained unnecessarily. Which meant he'd had four hours sleep.  
"Yes, now let's do the New Year thing," Wade said.  
"_What _New Year thing?"  
"You know, 'I haven't eaten all year', 'this is my first shower this year', 'I haven't had sex all year.'" He tugged on Peter's arm. "Which reminds me, we should go have a shower together."  
"And sex?" Peter asked, curious despite himself that that hadn't been top priority.  
"Well, if you're offering," Wade replied in a flirtatious voice.  
Peter groaned and dropped his head back into the pillow.

~

After their shower, (and other various activities) they found themselves in their kitchen.  
"I haven't eaten all year," Wade declared loudly.  
Peter groaned. "Are you going to do that all day?"  
"Until we've done everything for the first time this year." Wade confirmed.  
Peter rolled his eyes. "You've already eaten this year. You had those heated up chimichangas after midnight."  
Wade pouted. "Don't spoil this for me Petey."  
"You spoiled my first sleep of the year."  
"So we can do the first things of the year _together _Spidey. Like a _couple." _He had a petulant tone.  
Peter groaned again. "Fine. What do you want for your first breakfast?"  
"Of the year," Wade finished happily. "Pancakes! My first pancakes of-"  
"Of the year. Got it. You cooking?"  
"May as well. I haven't cooked-"  
"All year."  
Wade scowled. "First time you've been mean to me this year."  
Peter sighed. "Sorry."  
Wade snuck closer to him and kissed his cheek. "I forgive you."  
"First apology of the year?"  
"Now you're getting it."

~  
Peter watched Wade cook, humming happily. "First song of the year?"  
"Men in Black," Wade answered.  
Peter tapped his fingers on the table. "Right."  
Wade tossed him a grin over his shoulder. "You should be more enthusiastic Peter, it's a New Year."  
"My boyfriend dragged me out of bed at 6am, I'm allowed to be grumpy. Don't say it!" Peter finished quickly.  
Wade clamped his mouth shut. "Rude," he muttered to himself.

~

"These are good," Peter said.  
"First foods of the year _have _to be special."  
"I don't remember that rule."  
"It's in the Constitution."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah, right after that bit about bear arms."  
"Bearing arms," Peter corrected.  
Wade blinked. "Oh. That makes more sense."  
Peter gave him a suspicious look, not sure if he was serious or just rehashing that joke from Family Guy.  
Wade gave him an innocent look. "Eat up, deary."  
Peter rolled his eyes.

~

"Where are you going?" Peter asked as Wade threw on his hoodie and shoes.  
"Shopping. We need to stock up for the New Year."  
Peter made an annoyed noise. "Still with this?" he asked.  
Wade nodded. "Got to stick with the classics."  
"Right." He paused. "Want me to come?"  
Wade's eyes widened comically. "I would be honoured."  
Peter gave him a look. "Gimme a sec."

~

They were strolling through the corner shop, that for whatever reason was open on the first day of the year.  
Wade picked up an item.  
"I swear to god if you say 'first shopping trip of the year' I'll stab you."  
Wade pouted.

~

Peter collapsed on the couch.  
"You aren't going to help?" Wade asked. "Lazy Peter. Bad start to the year."  
"So tired," Peter grumbled. "Going to sleep." He made a noise of protest as Wade sat on top of his back.  
"You can't sleep yet!" Wade declared. "We still have so much to do."  
Peter frowned. "We can do it later. We've got a whole year," he pointed out and tried to relax despite the 210lbs on his back.  
Wade didn't reply, so Peter reluctantly opened an eye. "Don't we?"  
Wade nodded, though lacking his earlier enthusiasm. "A whole year."  
Peter inwardly debated –tiredness vs concern- eventually sighing and twisting, pulling Wade down so they were lying together on their small couch. "What's up?"  
Wade shrugged and buried his face in Peter's chest.  
There was a silence.  
"Is this the first time you're going to avoid the question this year?"  
Wade laughed shakily. "It's our first New Year together," he mumbled.  
Peter frowned again. "No it's-"  
"That we get to spend together completely," Wade added. "No sneaking around your aunt or anything. The first year we start in the same apartment. Living together. You know."  
Peter ran a hand over Wade's scarred head. "You're such a sap."  
"I know," Wade said ruefully.  
Peter closed his eyes and exhaled loudly. Then he sat up. "Come on. Let's 'put away the shopping for the first time this year.'"

~

Peter flopped back in the bed, exhausted. Wade's list for Day 1, 2015 had been… extensive. Half the things on the list he hadn't done before _ever. _But Wade was happy, so so was he.  
Yep, he was a hundred percent sure Wade's romantic streak had rubbed off on him.  
Wade crawled into bed next to him and kissed his forehead. "Now you can sleep." Wade told him, pulling the doona up to cover them both.  
"Are you sure?" Peter mocked in a tired voice. "I haven't wrestled a shark this year."  
Wade nodded. "I know. We'll save that for tomorrow. Don't want to do everything in the first twenty-four hours Petey, otherwise the rest of the year would be boring."  
Peter really doubted that, but was too tired to voice it. "Okay," he said with a yawn and snuggled closer to him. "Tomorrow then."  
Wade grinned and wrapped his arms around him. "Tomorrow." He repeated softly.


End file.
